laugh with me awhile

laugh with me awhile my name is nick.
things people say about me: intelligent. down to earth. quirky. sarcastic. honest. musical. cool. entertaining. extroverted. thoughtful. outrageous. funny. sweet. chill. slightly crazy. ADHD. motivated. fun. awesome.

My Childhood Hero

I’ve never been one of those people to get terribly broken up over the death of a celebrity. I mean sure, depending on the actor/actress, I might be caught off guard or slightly shocked, but never to a heart wrenching level. This week that changed for me, the day I found out one of my heroes, Robin Williams, took his own life …a day where it truly feels like the world is that much darker.

When I was a kid, my father was always silly & lighthearted. At an early age, I recognized these as traits to aspire to, so naturally my father has always been a hero of mine. Like most kids in the 90s, I watched a lot of family movies with my parents, so Mr. Williams was a prominent figure during my childhood. It’s funny to reflect back on it now, but because of the similarities I identified between my dad & Mr. Williams, I sort of saw him as my dad on the big screen; always teaching me about life, love, and the never ending pursuit of happiness. As i continued to grow up, each role offered another lesson to learn from….

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Dead Poets Society (1989), a film that truly shaped my worldview during adolescence. It’s fitting that his character, a teacher, taught me about living life to it’s fullest, forging my own path, and appreciating the beauty all around me. That “no matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”

"To live… to live would be an awfully big adventure." - Hook (1991)

In Hook, I was reminded that growing up doesn’t always mean having to give up that part of you that wants to play. Life is a game we play, and if we have the right motivations (happy thoughts), we can make an adventure out of it.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oqQ-aLZ9dKs/Tw3PE-GiTcI/AAAAAAAAAG8/pcqqy7Jt-TM/s1600/Genie+Tourist.jpg

In Aladdin (1992), I learned what it meant to be a real friend - loyal & ridiculous.

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- Good Will Hunting (1997)

- What Dreams May Come (1998), depicting how even in the darkness of sorrow and death imagination & love makes it all worth it.

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"You treat a disease: you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you win - no matter the outcome."Patch Adams (1998)

The list of moments full of laughter & tears can go on and on. It isn’t until one of our heroes fall that we truly see the roles and impact that they had on shaping who we are as a person. Through the heartache and sorrow I feel in this moment, I feel a sense of joy…if one man, one man who’s life’s work has had as huge of an impact on millions across the globe, made me that much better of a person…I aspire to pass that on to others. After all, we’re all in this together. What’s life if not an opportunity to laugh, to cry, and to grow together. I find solace in that.

Rest in peace Robin - you will live on through your work and the impressions you’ve made on the lives of a world who needed you.

(Source: Spotify)

Tonight has been an interesting night. You can go a long time believing that the life lessons you’ve learned define you, but really we never stop learning and growing. It is in fact this evolution that is one of the few constants in life that never ceases to amaze me.

I think I’ve finally come to terms with a lot of the things that have lead me to this exact moment in time. The ups and downs that life seems to throw at us, they truly make life the journey that it is. My story so far is a typical one. A young love that by it’s very nature was never meant to last, and so it ended. We all come to a crossroad of sorts in that moment, to either turn inward or outward in our interpersonal relationships. I chose the latter, but I did so before I had a chance to grieve over that first loss, something that until now I never realized how much it would impact my views of relationships and life.
You see, for those who choose the former option the focus in life turns towards themselves. Life becomes all about their wants, needs, and desires …their dreams. These people go through the grieving process completely, able to accept their loss and move forward. The downside however is that they shut out others in order to accomplish this feat, a decision that creates a callow view of relationships; that forces up barricades in developing those interpersonal relationships necessary to be a well rounded individual. They, to a certain degree, don’t understand what it means to be loved or give love to anyone but themselves. Is this necessarily a bad thing? No, it’s just the first step for them on a path to eventually find someone suited for them while at the same time knowing what it really means to be happy with oneself. 
However for those who chose the latter option, for me, the focus turns on attempting to recreate what was perceived to be a meaningful relationship and outwardly projects what they want out of others. These people are able to learn through trial and error what it means to be in a mature meaningful adult relationship, yet they never truly grieved over that first loss. So the quest begins: to be in love with the idea of being in love. Is this a bad thing? No, it’s just the first step for them on a path to finding inner peace and happiness while knowing what it truly means to commit earnestly and wholeheartedly to another person.
A naive notion that I’ve had for as long as I can remember: I will find happiness by making other people happy. For a majority of my adult life I have known what it truly means to “live for others,” as if that was a qualifier for being a good person. I put the needs of others on the top list of priorities in my day with anything remotely involving my needs at the bottom. I was content, believing that my needs were minimal and that by doing good unto others I was in fact making myself happy. Until today I never realized that the two ideas of focusing on finding a meaningful relationship and placing myself last every time were correlated, which brings me to now.

"When we were kids, my brother and I used to pretend that we were heroes, the only ones who could save the day. But maybe we’re just the regular people, the ones who get saved." - WIsh I Was Here (quoted with top picture)

I have a pretty good idea of where to re-prioritize the things in my life, and no it’s not perfect; there’s no way for it to be. I’ve spent so much time trying to be the superhero that saves the day for others that I neglected the one person who needed saving all along: myself. It’s in this epiphany of sorts that I plan on moving forward in the never ending pursuit to be a better person, a whole person.

We all believe we understand the path we’re on; our own self-righteous brains forget that life is much more fluid than that. Many people are closed minded, believing that their perspective is the only means to a solution, but really we have to see all of the variables at play to understand the end result. The best tools we have at our disposal in trying times lie in our ability to introspectively think and learn. After all, at the end of the day …”life is an occasion; rise to it.”

————————————————————————————————————
This post was inspired (as I’m sure you can tell) while listening to the soundtrack to “Wish I Was Here,” a Sundance film that recently came to theaters. It’s quotes, I felt, were fitting to the subject matter of this quarter life crisis I seem to have come to terms with.

Tonight has been an interesting night. You can go a long time believing that the life lessons you’ve learned define you, but really we never stop learning and growing. It is in fact this evolution that is one of the few constants in life that never ceases to amaze me.

I think I’ve finally come to terms with a lot of the things that have lead me to this exact moment in time. The ups and downs that life seems to throw at us, they truly make life the journey that it is. My story so far is a typical one. A young love that by it’s very nature was never meant to last, and so it ended. We all come to a crossroad of sorts in that moment, to either turn inward or outward in our interpersonal relationships. I chose the latter, but I did so before I had a chance to grieve over that first loss, something that until now I never realized how much it would impact my views of relationships and life.

You see, for those who choose the former option the focus in life turns towards themselves. Life becomes all about their wants, needs, and desires …their dreams. These people go through the grieving process completely, able to accept their loss and move forward. The downside however is that they shut out others in order to accomplish this feat, a decision that creates a callow view of relationships; that forces up barricades in developing those interpersonal relationships necessary to be a well rounded individual. They, to a certain degree, don’t understand what it means to be loved or give love to anyone but themselves. Is this necessarily a bad thing? No, it’s just the first step for them on a path to eventually find someone suited for them while at the same time knowing what it really means to be happy with oneself.

However for those who chose the latter option, for me, the focus turns on attempting to recreate what was perceived to be a meaningful relationship and outwardly projects what they want out of others. These people are able to learn through trial and error what it means to be in a mature meaningful adult relationship, yet they never truly grieved over that first loss. So the quest begins: to be in love with the idea of being in love. Is this a bad thing? No, it’s just the first step for them on a path to finding inner peace and happiness while knowing what it truly means to commit earnestly and wholeheartedly to another person.

A naive notion that I’ve had for as long as I can remember: I will find happiness by making other people happy. For a majority of my adult life I have known what it truly means to “live for others,” as if that was a qualifier for being a good person. I put the needs of others on the top list of priorities in my day with anything remotely involving my needs at the bottom. I was content, believing that my needs were minimal and that by doing good unto others I was in fact making myself happy. Until today I never realized that the two ideas of focusing on finding a meaningful relationship and placing myself last every time were correlated, which brings me to now.

"When we were kids, my brother and I used to pretend that we were heroes, the only ones who could save the day. But maybe we’re just the regular people, the ones who get saved." - WIsh I Was Here (quoted with top picture)

I have a pretty good idea of where to re-prioritize the things in my life, and no it’s not perfect; there’s no way for it to be. I’ve spent so much time trying to be the superhero that saves the day for others that I neglected the one person who needed saving all along: myself. It’s in this epiphany of sorts that I plan on moving forward in the never ending pursuit to be a better person, a whole person.

We all believe we understand the path we’re on; our own self-righteous brains forget that life is much more fluid than that. Many people are closed minded, believing that their perspective is the only means to a solution, but really we have to see all of the variables at play to understand the end result. The best tools we have at our disposal in trying times lie in our ability to introspectively think and learn. After all, at the end of the day …”life is an occasion; rise to it.”

————————————————————————————————————

This post was inspired (as I’m sure you can tell) while listening to the soundtrack to “Wish I Was Here,” a Sundance film that recently came to theaters. It’s quotes, I felt, were fitting to the subject matter of this quarter life crisis I seem to have come to terms with.

Paperwork for days

(Source: Spotify)

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground."

Modern Family, seemingly appropriate :)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (at Casa de Hardy)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (at Casa de Hardy)

Somebody saaaaaaaaave meeeeeee #smallville #wheatland haha

Somebody saaaaaaaaave meeeeeee #smallville #wheatland haha

"And if you’re feelin’ like I’m feelin’, how the world should be: perfectly. Fire like I’m third degree, & suddenly shawty we got so high, firefly" #nowplaying #childishgambino #eckharttoll

"And if you’re feelin’ like I’m feelin’, how the world should be: perfectly. Fire like I’m third degree, & suddenly shawty we got so high, firefly" #nowplaying #childishgambino #eckharttoll

What is this … fall weather I keep hearing about?!

What is this … fall weather I keep hearing about?!

Tom & Jerry raised kid. Maybe that’s why my life is full of physical comedy lol

Reblogged from alyssabernal

Tom & Jerry raised kid. Maybe that’s why my life is full of physical comedy lol

(Source: alpha--bitch)